When we joined ATI we were exposed to the idea of courtship instead of dating. We decided that was a more biblical idea and that dating definitely was not God's idea. So, that became our family standard. When Nathan was 15 years old he was able to attend the Young Men's Counseling seminar in Indianapolis. He was challenged to give the Lord his youth in order to serve Him, kind of a tithe of his life. Nathan made the commitment to give the Lord the next seven years of his life. During this time he would not be looking around for his future mate but would concentrate on serving the Lord and his family. He had also felt the Lord calling him to attend the ALERT Academy, and just before his 21st birthday he left for Texas. After completing the program in a little over a year, he was asked to remain and come on staff working in the computer department.
When the seven years he committed to the Lord came to an end, he talked to his dad about talking to girls. I later found this out and told him that it was no different than when he was talking to them now, but when the Lord showed him the right one, he would know in his spirit. I also told him that when it happened it would be fast since he was already in the position to be married and had prepared himself spiritually as well. Those words were prophetic.
So, a year passed. Then in September of 2008, he began to pray about a young woman that worked at ALERT. He did not tell the woman, nor her father, nor us. He just prayed about it. He prayed all Fall, all Winter, and then in the Spring he approached her father, Capt. Smith about the possibility of courting his daughter, Hannah. Capt. Smith liked Nathan and gave his blessing. Nathan had already built a relationship with Capt. Smith, and so he was able to evaluate Nathan as a future marriage partner for Hannah based on how well he already knew him. During this period of time he indicated to us that there was someone special. He planned to ask Hannah if she would begin a courtship with him. We talked several times about the timing of this "proposal" and he decided on a day and time.
Nathan told us later that he was very nervous about asking Hannah. He felt that before asking if she were willing to begin a relationship with the idea of marriage he should come clean with her about areas in his life in which he had failed. Full disclosure. She said yes, and Nathan later recounted that it was in that moment that he knew she would say yes to getting engaged. That was the first week of June.
Several weeks later Nathan came home for vacation to Florida. We talked about their relationship and he revealed that he was ready to ask her to marry him. He initially thought that he would propose on October 24th at Hannah's sister's wedding. But as time went on he told us he did not want to wait that long. He asked our counsel and if we had any check in our spirits about him getting engaged sooner. We did not and gave him our full blessing. Now, just before he left to go back to Texas we went looking at rings. We found one that was stunning, but still needed her ring size. When Nathan got back he got her ring size. I asked him how he got it thinking that somehow he had gotten a hold of one of her rings and then called to have the ring sized. He told me that he just asked her. The ring was to arrive on a Friday but arrived a day early. He and his roommate went to find a microscope to check the number on the diamond and see if it was the same as the one on his certificate, which it was. He had told us he thought they would get engaged on his birthday, but he wanted to keep the ring in his pocket in case the right time just came along. Lo and behold, the very next night the right moment came and he asked her to marry him. She said, "Yes." That was July 10th, making his courtship five or six weeks long.
We are so grateful that the Lord has brought a godly woman into Nathan's life. We pray that will be a testimony for our other children, and others about leaving their future spouse in God's hands and serving him with their whole heart.
I am also grateful for e-mail since it has allowed me to get to know Hannah. We have been sending lots of e-mails back and forth and having deep conversations. Jon is counseling them for marriage and will be performing the ceremony.
Tomorrow, Katie leaves for ALERT. Glad I will be busy with the children and school.
1 comment:
I really enjoyed your post on your son's courtship! I have a somewhat similar story.
I was raised with the idea of courtship. I went to Bible College and when I returned I unfortunately became involved with someone who had no intention of a soon marriage. One day he admitted to me that he wasn't sure he would ever be interested in marrying ME. I felt totally betrayed! I had been friends with one of his male friends and we often did things as a church group. When he heard what had happened between my boyfriend and I he was very sorry and offered to take me out to lunch and talk or not, it didn't matter. He just wanted to help as he could.
Well, the next Sunday (this was in January 2002) he invited me to meet his family. It was his family holiday get together, I had no idea. His mother made some comments about me liking his artwork collection and if I liked Asian furniture because he would be getting it when he moved out. I was a little baffled. The following Sunday he came to meet my family and he told my dad, in front of my mom and I, that he wanted to marry me! We were engaged in less then a month and were married May 11 of the same year.
My parents were engaged 4 days after their first date and married 1 month later. My inlaws were engaged and married in even less time! When my parents married they met the couple across the street who had been married over 50 years. They met and married ON THE SAME DAY!
I wish your family all the best,
Sarah in TX
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